while wrestling with Dostoevsky I surrender to myself

“Now and then I was pierced to the heart with the deepest, most venomous pain at the thought that ten years would go by, and twenty years, and forty years, and even after forty years I would recall with shuddering humiliation these dirtiest, most ludicrous, most terrible minutes of my entire life. No one could possibly inflict upon himself a more unconscionable, more voluntary humiliation…”

“I have felt ashamed throughout the writing of this narrative: hence this is no longer literature, but corrective punishment. Because telling, for example, long tales about how I shirked away my life through moral degeneration in my corner, through isolation from society, through loss of contact with anything alive, through vanity and malice in my underground, is really quite uninteresting.”

‘Notes from Underground’ by Fyodor Dostoevsky

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About Marcus

Who me? Introverted, neurotic, self-absorbed, increasingly cynical observer of human nature and part time social critic in hiding. Most of my life spent avoiding growing up. The naive idealistic passions of youth have evolved into the eclectic eccentricities of adulthood. Northeast Florida small-town native, related to people I can't relate to. Simultaneously my own best friend and worst enemy. Politically and spiritually unaffiliated, my personal ideologies put me all over the map or off it completely.
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