how about a squirt of…mustard?

I like mustard but generally don’t use more than a small jar or two in a year. Recently, instead of the usual clear glass/plastic jar with twist off lid, my wife brought home a new container which I used for the first time this weekend. It was one of those plastic squeeze containers that have been around since I can remember. As I held it it my hand memories came rushing back causing me to realize that at one time I didn’t look at this type of container as a convenient way to package condiments but rather as a possible weapon for use in the Florida hot summer ritual of neighborhood water fights. Keep in mind that as a pre-teen forty or so years ago Super-Soaker type water guns weren’t even a fantasy and the only “real” squirt guns were usually shoddy examples of workmanship with extremely limited capacity and range. But someone with a plastic squeeze bottle salvaged from the household trash was welled prepared for soaking any opponent. Two common examples were Plochman’s mustard containers or empty squeeze dish-washing detergent bottle of the type where you had to cut the tip off the bottle cap.

I’d like to say that every battle was just a wet, fun event but I also remember that frustration over perceived advantages in weaponry inevitably lead to an arms race and escalation of territorial conflicts where more sophisticated and damaging ordnance than just plain water were employed. Much like what often happens in real life I’ve observed.


About Marcus

Who me? Introverted, neurotic, self-absorbed, increasingly cynical observer of human nature and part time social critic in hiding. Most of my life spent avoiding growing up. The naive idealistic passions of youth have evolved into the eclectic eccentricities of adulthood. Northeast Florida small-town native, related to people I can't relate to. Simultaneously my own best friend and worst enemy. Politically and spiritually unaffiliated, my personal ideologies put me all over the map or off it completely.
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2 Responses to how about a squirt of…mustard?

  1. papoose says:

    I loved water guns, even if they didn’t work well. The clear plastic colors, and drinking out of them.

  2. Anonymous says:

    your post
    Thanks for taking us back. My family and I enjoyed your message…and our teenage daughter was amused by the cleaverness of making do….”back then” to enjoy a good ole water fight. Its one of our favorite things to do.

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