ADIDAS

Sitting here marking time as I wait for 5:00PM to arrive so I don’t have to pretend to be at work trying to remember the word used by a young woman who (successfully) pursued me in an attempt to cure her virginity and later moved out of town when it became clear I wasn’t interested in a deeper relationship to describe people who sniffed bicycle seats thinking she said ‘farb’ but urbandictionary.com says that is really an acronym for Fat Assed Rugby Bitch then I find ‘Poon’ and ‘Snarf’ are other possibilities but now I’ve lost interest and wonder why I’ve decided to play six (out of my seven) Cowboy Junkie CDs back-to-back wishing I liked alcohol more and chocolate less which is funny because I have a much high tolerance for the latter than the former reading where someone claims to have invented a healthy version of chocolate which is just another was of saying we’ve taken the fun and risk out of it sort of like inventing artificial turf with the consistency of marshmallows to make skydiving safer which is something I’ve never had the urge to try even though my wife did it once and said never again after the straps grabbed her crotch as the chute opened but she was more of a daredevil and has actually driven around the Daytona speedway albeit in a Volkswagen during a Porsche club outing decades ago sometimes wishing she owned an old Porsche but realizing they aren’t practical if you need to haul canines around and now I have a work email so I can do some real work.

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About Marcus

Who me? Introverted, neurotic, self-absorbed, increasingly cynical observer of human nature and part time social critic in hiding. Most of my life spent avoiding growing up. The naive idealistic passions of youth have evolved into the eclectic eccentricities of adulthood. Northeast Florida small-town native, related to people I can't relate to. Simultaneously my own best friend and worst enemy. Politically and spiritually unaffiliated, my personal ideologies put me all over the map or off it completely.
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4 Responses to ADIDAS

  1. binky011 says:

    Maybe you should cut back on the caffeine. 🙂

    • marcsuttle says:

      I was going for the “stream-of-consciousness” effect. The caffeine supply had been cut off before noon(earlier than usual) so it must have been some other stimulant at work.

  2. dearest_b says:

    *APPLAUSE*
    May i just say how refreshing it is to see a post completely unfettered by all those irritating dot and dash things punctuation i think they call it but it will always remain a stranger to me and for that im very glad
    By the way can i just add how sorry i was to hear about your wifes crotch
    No really i was.

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