Why is she on my mind today?

Just another one of the many girls I knew growing up from Elementary/Jr-Sr High School. Nothing between us except what was never to be. The few times I sensed my father’s concern that I hadn’t yet started the dating process I distinctly felt she was the one he had in mind for me to ask out. She and another boy from my neighborhood began going steady. To this day I remember his comments after they broke up implying they had sex at some point and he didn’t see it developing into anything beyond that. Almost a boastful statement of conquest as he looked to move on to other girls. At that instant in my mind she moved beyond my reach as I had not yet mastered simple one-to-one conversation with a girl without becoming tongue tied and flustered. Sex was still a theoretical concept. At our senior class Christmas party after the gifts, meal and games as music began playing she walked directly up to me and said “you don’t dance, do you?” More as a statement than a question. She wanted to dance but we both knew it was a lost cause. I told her no. Several years ago during a visit to my hometown I found out where she lived and along with my wife and another classmate dropped in for a visit. Twenty eight years had passed and to me she had not changed. Of course I hadn’t either, I’m still not much of a dancer.


About Marcus

Who me? Introverted, neurotic, self-absorbed, increasingly cynical observer of human nature and part time social critic in hiding. Most of my life spent avoiding growing up. The naive idealistic passions of youth have evolved into the eclectic eccentricities of adulthood. Northeast Florida small-town native, related to people I can't relate to. Simultaneously my own best friend and worst enemy. Politically and spiritually unaffiliated, my personal ideologies put me all over the map or off it completely.
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