BEWARE: bitching and moaning

I often wonder why some(most?) people I know act so insensitively. The primary cause for this inquiry are those who frequently say they will call sometime in the future to go out for some type of social activity(usually involving caffeine, beer and/or pizza) but never honor their commitment.(do they even remember?) I seem to be the one who always makes the effort, not that it is successful, but am I wrong in thinking there needs to be reciprocity?

It’s no secret that what little social life I’ve experienced usually revolved around relationships I managed to establish thru work. At my present job I am a virtual(home office) worker where the closest co-worker is 130 miles away.(the next closest is 250 miles) Not good for a quick trip to Starbucks to help unwind by discussing the nature of the universe.(something we did frequently at my previous job where I worked in an office with real co-workers) After being laid off I hoped one or two of those folks would occasionally think of me and suggest an outing for old times sake, but no luck. My efforts to do the same never seem to bear fruit unless I ask at least twice. I worry that I am forcing myself on others who, given a preference, would rather just do their own thing. Yeah, I know, woe is me, self pity and all that crap isn’t something I need to be wallowing in especially this time of the year but there it is anyway.

If I wasn’t so sure of the outcome, a New Year’s resolution to not phone or email anyone to go out, choosing instead to wait for them to contact me would seem tempting.

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About Marcus

Who me? Introverted, neurotic, self-absorbed, increasingly cynical observer of human nature and part time social critic in hiding. Most of my life spent avoiding growing up. The naive idealistic passions of youth have evolved into the eclectic eccentricities of adulthood. Northeast Florida small-town native, related to people I can't relate to. Simultaneously my own best friend and worst enemy. Politically and spiritually unaffiliated, my personal ideologies put me all over the map or off it completely.
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8 Responses to BEWARE: bitching and moaning

  1. Oh, that is so sad. I’d be willing to bet most of those negligent folks have kids, though. It really is amazing how insular families can become. There’s afterschool homework, obligatory volunteerism for schools and outside activities, and the list just goes on and on.
    But still, in my opinion, those parents would be a lot healthier if they took time out for themselves and didn’t craft such kid-centric lives. I mean, I can’t remember MY parents ever feeling that they were bound to entertain me all the time.

    • marcsuttle says:

      There must be some seasonal cause for my feelings. Check out this post and notice the closeness of dates-
      http://www.livejournal.com/users/subtlecynic/28141.html?view=41453#t41453

      • Holy crap! That Mary really scathed you!!!! Not that she didn’t have some insightful and valid points (and to tell you the truth, I kind of agreed with her) but damn… she practically called you an ass in her 1st comment! You certainly handled it well, and in fact I think she could be a compatible LJ friend. (I’d have been crushed.)
        The thing is, there’s validity on both sides of the issue. I can certainly remember thinking how the whole ‘children should be seen and not heard’ philosophy sucked when I was a kid- and vowing never to treat MY kids that way. Nevertheless, there’s a balance to be had there. Too much parental micro-management will produce kids who have no clue how to lead productive, happy lives and are painfully self-centered.
        I ‘spose I don’t really think it’s the kids who get in the way of my socializing. There’s really no reason in the world they can’t hang out with the other kids in another room while the adults interact. Actually, it’s the volunteer crap that hurts me. And worst of all, all matter how many hours I give to scouts, school, etc. they always want more.
        Maybe the real problem is that people tend to fill their lives with so much pointless busyness, that there isn’t any time to LIVE.

      • marcsuttle says:

        I didn’t take it personally when mary919 let me have it for echoing John Rosemond’s opinion. Like I said, I don’t have kids. She had friended me after a randon search I think. When I cleared out my own friends list during a one month sabbatical from LJ earlier this year she was one of the ones who stuck around.
        Check out “The Red Tape Chronicles” (an MSNBC Blog) The most recent entry there blames parents trying to give their kids everything as a leading cause of credit card debt. Here it is-
        http://redtape.msnbc.com/2005/12/why_are_america.html#posts

      • Hmmm… seems to me there’s a book by Michael Medved, could the title be something like What Ever Happened to the Class of 65? Point is, it talks about similar things, following a group of extraordinarily blessed Orange Co., CA people through their lives and analysing what went wrong for them.
        Concerning debt, I don’t think I thanked my dad often enough for some of his humble but oh-so-true sayings. (“The world doesn’t owe you a living”, stuff like that.)

      • marcsuttle says:

        The only thing my father ever came close to preaching against to me was alcohol. It was as if he considered anyone who drank (underage or legal) unfit to associate with. Money was not generally discussed. He simply led by example and if anything my sister and I learned the meaning of “no” as an answer to anything we wished for which at some point we learned not to ask. It wasn’t until after my father died and I ended up with every tax return he filed during his lifetime that I understand just how little money we had as a family…and I thought we did better than most at the time. At least we learned to be happy with what we had even though I still coveted much of what my friends had growing up. Could help explain why I didn’t want kids, not having to provide for or share with them means that much more for me now that I can afford anything I want.

      • OK, I just got back from reading that article you linked me.
        The guy was right on, but one of the commenters had me wondering. He said that it was all the fault of a liberal congress that passed lax lending laws, and that teachers & laborers should not be entitled to the same line of credit as a doctor or lawyer. Huh???? I thought lending was based on one’s income and credit history, period.
        I was also under the impresssion that bank officials made the decisions on loan policy regardless of what was permitted. I have no idea how the ‘rent or mortgage should be no more than 1/4 of total family income’ rule of thumb got stretched over the years, but it seems to me that an awful lot of foolhardy loans are being made.

      • marcsuttle says:

        When I first saw the article there were only five total comments. Seems to have generated a lot of feelings, the most common being “just say no!”

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