What am I, invisible? Maybe just transparent.

At the risk of being naive(it wouldn’t be the first time), I believe there is no one I know in real life who is aware of my “presence” on LiveJournal. Which is ironic because I stumbled across LiveJournal during one of my many searches on the web looking for people I know/knew in real life. I scour the web with search engines, lurk around Yahoo/MSN/AOL groups and high school/college alumni sites, anything that might contain a name I recognize (usually from my hometown and haven’t seen in decades). My ongoing search to locate and re-establish communication so far has been a one-way experience. Finding dozens of names/email addresses, many of people I once dealt with face-to-face on a first name basis, any contact from me is usually(not always) acknowledged by at least a courteous, if not friendly, reply and then…nothing. Every so often I reach out to the list I keep, usually to distribute some bit of news or contact info for someone else I’ve located but the usual response is a very noticeable silence. I grew up and spent the first 20 years of my life in rural small-town north Florida. So far in life that is longest I’ve lived in one place. Next to that, I’m almost to the 14 year mark in what used to be rural North Carolina in danger of becoming a suburb of Charlotte(albeit 25-30 miles from downtown).

So why is this important or what’s my point? The 20 year period I mentioned, in hindsight I admit, taught me a lesson. Community matters. Community is important. Community gives you security. Community helps provide balance and perspective. Knowing your neighbors, relatives, friends, co-workers, classmates, service providers, local merchants, law enforcement, elected officials and through them networking your way to achieve or acquire what you need for day to day existence is one(if not the most) valuable parts of life. I’ve mentioned before(probably here on LJ) that the idea of community(the way I knew it) is disappearing from society. What does it mean when the community which I most closely associate, in both mind and spirit, is one which I haven’t actually participated in for almost 30 years and am continually trying to remotely re-attach myself?


About Marcus

Who me? Introverted, neurotic, self-absorbed, increasingly cynical observer of human nature and part time social critic in hiding. Most of my life spent avoiding growing up. The naive idealistic passions of youth have evolved into the eclectic eccentricities of adulthood. Northeast Florida small-town native, related to people I can't relate to. Simultaneously my own best friend and worst enemy. Politically and spiritually unaffiliated, my personal ideologies put me all over the map or off it completely.
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4 Responses to What am I, invisible? Maybe just transparent.

  1. mary919 says:

    I have found that many of the people I grew up with are still not online or are not online much. I have reconnected with a handful of people but it’s only for a yearly e-mail or two. One guy sends me an e-mail when his e-mail address changes– but never sends me any other e-mail and the one he sends just says “Here’s my new e-mail address:…”
    I’ve found no one from my past who has a blog or a web-page or participates in any forums anywhere or anything like that. ONE person from my past has kept up a real correspondence, but mostly just sends me silly stuff– “You might be a redneck…” stuff. Even my very dearest friends– my three college roommates– have no web presence and would rather talk on the phone.
    I think part of the problem is that many out there perceive the web to be peopled mostly by youngsters 30 & under. Which is certainly true :), but no reason not to use it. IMO.

    • marcsuttle says:

      I must be some sort of web-geek. I put together and maintain the only(!) class specfic web pages for a given year(grade school, graduation and misc. photos, class prophesy and will) from the high school I attended(that I’m aware of). (I even got fed up at one point and put a somewhat veiled kiss-off/rant on the web pages but so far no one has come back to me on that) Sure, I’ve written letters, made phone calls and even dropped in(announced or otherwise) over the years but email seems to be the least invasive method. On the other had it’s easy to ignore(thank YOU spam!) I agree about not hearing from people unless they change email addresses or put you on their joke/political rant list. Out of 133 in my graduating class I have email for 28 or so Percentage wise, not bad for a bunch of 48-49 year olds. (I’d have around another dozen if I was notified with changes) They may not be on the web but I wonder how many walk around with a cell phone attached to an ear? Sometimes I think this borders on an obsession or I’m not spending my time wisely.

      • mary919 says:

        I dunno… it seems completely normal to me! πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚

      • cat_wrangler says:

        in the end, it’s all relative
        When I go ‘home’, I feel like an 3-headed, greenish alien. As hard as I’ve lived, I still look younger than those who remained in the fishbowl. And I’m antisocial. Cyber is safer for some of us; fewer vibes to feel. More bullshit, but damn, it’s everywhere anyway.
        You are unique, you ARE appreciated. A bit on the odd side, really, but that’s part of your adorable appeal! Ciao, chow, and later on….

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