the best thing to happen to men since women

(or so the junk mail advertising this magazine would have you believe)
Not feeling I fit the image of a metrosexual, I let lapse my one subscription to a men’s “fashion” magazine. No, there wasn’t a centerfold and yes I did enjoy the articles most of all. But over time any content was replaced by fashion and why you need it. Now that they have lost my renewal income I think they gave my name to other magazines down the food chain or that appeal to men a little lower on the ladder of evolution.(or are they really owned by the same conglomerate)

Arriving yesterday it claims to be written “especially for guys like you” celebrating “everything that makes your life outstanding! Hot women, cool cars, cold beer, high tech toys…sports action, spectacular sex.” Delivering the goods on “dwarf tossing, hypnotizing your penis, topless maids, dining with piranhas, boosting sperm count” (uh, no thanks, I’m happy with my vasectomy), “fun with chain saws, voodoo sex spells, stunt bras and demented giggles on the way to the grave, casual sex Fridays, sex secrets mom never taught you”. (I’m not making this up)

Included was a color insert exhibiting several examples of past issue covers, each showing a minimally clothed female celebrity, with the banner across each one proclaiming “sex, sports, beer, gadgets, clothes” and in one case “Shakespeare”(?). I guess they are trying to tempt a few chimp readers to see if they can work out a rough draft of Hamlet. (that was a bad reference to the laws of probability channeled via “The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy”) And no matter what she looks like from the neck down, Christina Aguilera’s face has “Lolita” written all over it.

No desire to subscribe or read this stuff but it does make me wish I had studied to be a social-anthropologist.


About Marcus

Who me? Introverted, neurotic, self-absorbed, increasingly cynical observer of human nature and part time social critic in hiding. Most of my life spent avoiding growing up. The naive idealistic passions of youth have evolved into the eclectic eccentricities of adulthood. Northeast Florida small-town native, related to people I can't relate to. Simultaneously my own best friend and worst enemy. Politically and spiritually unaffiliated, my personal ideologies put me all over the map or off it completely.
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One Response to the best thing to happen to men since women

  1. lullabypit says:

    >(or are they really owned by the same conglomerate)<
    Answer that question here:

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