(this comes from “The Writer’s Almanac”, a daily email newsletter from Minnesota Public Radio)
“Pre-Holiday PMS,” by Ginger Andrews, from An Honest Answer
I don’t want to be thankful this year.
I don’t want to eat turkey and I could care
if I never again tasted
your mother’s cornbread stuffing.
I hate sweet potato pie. I hate mini marshmallows.
I hate doing dishes while you watch football.
I hate Christmas. I hate name-drawing.
I hate tree-trimming, gift-wrapping,
and Rudolph the zipper-necked red-nosed reindeer.
I just want to skip the whole merry mess–
unless, of course, you’d like to try
to change my mind. You could start
by telling me I’m pretty and leaving me
your charge cards
and all your cash.