21st Century Schizoid Man

On PBS earlier this evening I saw an advert for ‘Tucker Carlson: Unfiltered’. In the ad, Tucker was talking about the need to periodically bring your beliefs out “into the light” to reassess them. Nice idea, but I’ve kept so many of my thoughts hidden from view(except the occasional LJ post/rant) they have become like vampires. Most likely they’d shrivel and die in daylight. So walking one of the dogs this evening after dark I felt it was safe to inspect them to see what I might learn. My conclusion? I’m a walking mass of contradictions. Broadening my view of the world and all it contains, my beliefs have narrowed. Realizing the need to consider the long-term, I am remarkably short-sighted. Success in my career has led to a certain degree of financial freedom, but I’d rather not let any of it go if it isn’t necessary. Acknowledging many mistakes in my life, yet continuing to repeat them. As a person ages they increasingly need the help of others, while I act wholly self-centered. Amazingly this doesn’t cause even the slightest hint of depression. I’m responsible for who and what I am and therefore it’s up to me to correct whatever is wrong. I wake up every morning and say, “this could be the day” and every night when I go to bed think, “I guess not, maybe tomorrow”. That’s what naive optimism will do for you.


About Marcus

Who me? Introverted, neurotic, self-absorbed, increasingly cynical observer of human nature and part time social critic in hiding. Most of my life spent avoiding growing up. The naive idealistic passions of youth have evolved into the eclectic eccentricities of adulthood. Northeast Florida small-town native, related to people I can't relate to. Simultaneously my own best friend and worst enemy. Politically and spiritually unaffiliated, my personal ideologies put me all over the map or off it completely.
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One Response to 21st Century Schizoid Man

  1. Anonymous says:

    one day when you get up it WILL be the day or one night will you go to bed it WILL be the night. if some change is meant to happen in a persons life it WILL happen. The problem is the timing. God does it in HIS time not ours.

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