why most men don’t want me near their wives/girlfriends

Most mornings, for as long as I can remember, I have brought my wife freshly brewed coffee, a light breakfast and the newspaper before she gets out of bed. The coffee is always from fresh ground beans and contains either several dashes of cinnamon or some semi-sweet chocolate morsels for added flavor. Even on days when I’m away on business, I will pre-grind the beans placing each daily portion in a separate filter so all she has to do is put it in the coffee maker.

When I tell a guy this, a worried look comes over his face. At that point I’m instructed in hushed stern tones to never, ever, under any circumstances mention any of this to the woman in his life.

I don’t think they really get the bigger picture. When I sit down and think about the benefits I have in life and the effort it costs me to enjoy them, I feel that between the two of us, my wife spoils me far more than I spoil her. Guys (stereotypically) can regurgitate averages, statistics, percentages for any professional sport, but they can’t perform simple domestic math.

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About Marcus

Who me? Introverted, neurotic, self-absorbed, increasingly cynical observer of human nature and part time social critic in hiding. Most of my life spent avoiding growing up. The naive idealistic passions of youth have evolved into the eclectic eccentricities of adulthood. Northeast Florida small-town native, related to people I can't relate to. Simultaneously my own best friend and worst enemy. Politically and spiritually unaffiliated, my personal ideologies put me all over the map or off it completely.
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2 Responses to why most men don’t want me near their wives/girlfriends

  1. mrsmartian says:

    No harm in askin’
    Men must bloody hate you!Hee HEE!
    Soooo, is there an unmarried brother knocking around anywhere? Hmm?

    • marcsuttle says:

      Re: No harm in askin’
      You have no idea. Guys make the ‘sign-of-the-cross’ at me like I was a vampire or demon when I tell them I’d rather spend the afternoon shopping than watching sports on TV. Sorry, no brothers.

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