*click* (television turning on)
On the screen: Syndicated TV game show hosted by Ernie the MC dressed in houndstooth double-breasted suit, bright colored shirt and clashing wide striped tie. Studio audience dressed in outlandish costumes. Standing onstage with Ernie is Dave, a contestant, wearing an astronaut suit.
Ernie: So Dave, as tonight’s leading scorer, you’ve decided to trade in your winnings for a chance at the grand prize behind one of these three doors. So which one will it be, door number 1, door number 2 or door number 3?
Dave: I choose door number 3.
Ernie: CONGRATULATIONS DAVE!!! YOU HAVE SELECTED THE GRAND PRIZE DOOR!!! LET’S HAVE A LOOK TO SEE WHAT YOU WON!!
Dave: My God, it’s full of stars.
Ernie: Correct Dave, your grand prize is the position of supreme being and master of the universe with the powers to control space and time. But that’s not all. Here is Ed our studio announcer to describe your other bonuses.
Ed the unseen announcer: That’s right Ernie, Dave has won a one-way trip to eternity. To keep him company on his journey he will have the latest in artificial human intelligence technology, the HAL model Y2K+1 computer robot. He will also be joined by noted “astronomer”, Carl Sagan, who will help explain the mysteries along the way. Here is Carl now…
Carl: Thank you Ed. Hello Dave. You know, the universe is huge. Unbelievably big. Enormously large. Stupendously immense. Colossally vast. Tremendously humongous. Infinite in its reach. There is just no end to…
HAL: Yes Dave?
Dave: Please show Carl to pod bay door number 1.
HAL: My pleasure Dave. I look forward to working with you in the future.
*blip* (television turning off)