from a time and place far, far away (in the murky depths of my mind)

*click* (television turning on)

On the screen: Syndicated TV game show hosted by Ernie the MC dressed in houndstooth double-breasted suit, bright colored shirt and clashing wide striped tie. Studio audience dressed in outlandish costumes. Standing onstage with Ernie is Dave, a contestant, wearing an astronaut suit.

Ernie: So Dave, as tonight’s leading scorer, you’ve decided to trade in your winnings for a chance at the grand prize behind one of these three doors. So which one will it be, door number 1, door number 2 or door number 3?

Dave: I choose door number 3.


(door opens)

Audience: GASP!

Dave: My God, it’s full of stars.

Ernie: Correct Dave, your grand prize is the position of supreme being and master of the universe with the powers to control space and time. But that’s not all. Here is Ed our studio announcer to describe your other bonuses.

Ed the unseen announcer: That’s right Ernie, Dave has won a one-way trip to eternity. To keep him company on his journey he will have the latest in artificial human intelligence technology, the HAL model Y2K+1 computer robot. He will also be joined by noted “astronomer”, Carl Sagan, who will help explain the mysteries along the way. Here is Carl now…

Carl: Thank you Ed. Hello Dave. You know, the universe is huge. Unbelievably big. Enormously large. Stupendously immense. Colossally vast. Tremendously humongous. Infinite in its reach. There is just no end to…

Dave: HAL?

HAL: Yes Dave?

Dave: Please show Carl to pod bay door number 1.

HAL: My pleasure Dave. I look forward to working with you in the future.

*blip* (television turning off)


About Marcus

Who me? Introverted, neurotic, self-absorbed, increasingly cynical observer of human nature and part time social critic in hiding. Most of my life spent avoiding growing up. The naive idealistic passions of youth have evolved into the eclectic eccentricities of adulthood. Northeast Florida small-town native, related to people I can't relate to. Simultaneously my own best friend and worst enemy. Politically and spiritually unaffiliated, my personal ideologies put me all over the map or off it completely.
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2 Responses to from a time and place far, far away (in the murky depths of my mind)

  1. cat_wrangler says:

    a marked generation, we are
    …marked by the spectre of artificial intelligence. Meantime, yet another Wal Mart (the great satan of the USA, and I don’t believe in satan) has opened just around the corner from my office. Just plop my happy ass on a space shuttle with my copies of Hitchhiker’s Guide, 2001, Andromeda Strain, The Stand, and as many Twilight Zone and Outer Limit episode as can be smuggled on with all my neurontin and Samuel Adams. I’ll come back after that mess out in Bentonville, Arkansas has given all its’ money to children’s services, elder services, and has just moved the hell out of the south altogether. Rahr, off to bed….hallucinations are likely. Ambien will do that to you. (Waltzes off as Hal begins to sing to Dave…”and you’ll look sweet upon the seat of a bicycle built for two”

    • marcsuttle says:

      Daisy, Daisy
      I was surfing the ‘net searching for song lyrics to the most commonly heard tunes my parents sung, whistled or hummed around the house while I was young. One of which was “Daisy, Daisy…” That brought me to a website with all sorts of ‘wav’ files from the various “Space Odyssey” movies. I had forgotten it was HAL’s swan song. I listened to a few including Dave’s statement when he looked into the monolith and it stuck in my mind. From there I just came up with the idea you saw in my original post.

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