There goes the neighborhood!

Drawing once again from my experience as a Florida native there seems to be a renewed need for sharing the basic rules covering how to properly choose one’s domicile in the ‘Sunshine State’-

Rule #1 Don’t live in a mobile home.

Yes they are inexpensive but that also means they are cheap. In every sense of the word. You get what you pay for and that isn’t much.

Rule #2 Don’t live in a mobile home.

There seems to be an unwritten but often observed law of nature dictating that severe weather of any type is invariably drawn to mobile homes. Take the hint.

Rule #3 Don’t live in a mobile home.

Far too many relatives and friends over the years seem to have chosen a single or double wide to set up house, but then again a lot of people where I came from believe Elvis was kidnapped by aliens. You’re smarter than that…aren’t you?

Rule #4 Don’t live in a mobile home.

Life’s a gamble and you wouldn’t play Russian-roulette with a fully loaded revolver. However some people live as if life was a gambling addiction. How about setting aside some or all of that money spent on weekly lottery tickets for a down payment on a real house?

The idea of what type of home I should live in was never preached or drilled into my head. Simple first-hand, up-close observation was enough to convince me not to take that route. Basic grade school curriculum should include a primer on home ownership complete with graphic photos of the aftermath when weather and mobile homes collide similar to the pictures shown in drivers education classes of fatal vehicle collisions. So in case you need another reminder-

Rule #5 Never, ever, under any circumstances live in a mobile home.


About Marcus

Who me? Introverted, neurotic, self-absorbed, increasingly cynical observer of human nature and part time social critic in hiding. Most of my life spent avoiding growing up. The naive idealistic passions of youth have evolved into the eclectic eccentricities of adulthood. Northeast Florida small-town native, related to people I can't relate to. Simultaneously my own best friend and worst enemy. Politically and spiritually unaffiliated, my personal ideologies put me all over the map or off it completely.
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One Response to There goes the neighborhood!

  1. sidelobe says:

    Traded comments with you in 40something, and I snooped in here to find out who you were. Hope you don’t mind!
    I used to live in FL, and now live in a mobile home in NC. While in FL, I figured out how to preserve aircraft from Hurricaine Andrew, and think I know how to save mobile homes from nasty weather.
    Let them weathervane!

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